He Said, She Said Parenting Through The Endless Quarrels

Sibling relationships are just as important as parent-child relationships. Affection between brothers and sisters can be very complex, involving several different emotional and behavioral states. Throughout their relationship, they will show signs of love, happiness, envy, and hate. Because of all of these emotional states, siblings’ relationships will have its ups and downs.

For larger families, parents will often notice periods of bickering, harassing, and fighting. This can occur for a number of reasons:

Children may feel they are being neglected
Competition:

  • Who is Stronger
  • Who is Smarter
  • Who is Faster
  • Who is the Favorite

Mood swings due to:

  • Boredom
  • Drowsiness
  • Hunger
  • Discomfort

Bickering involving envy and hate have proven to be unhealthy, and should be avoided if possible. In order to help you reduce the jealousy and resentment in your children, we have compiled some parenting tips and suggestions below.

Fair Treatment

As your children grow, you’ll notice that they will develop different interests and talents. Naturally, you will compare them, and gradually treat them accordingly. Your children may notice this, and feel you are playing favorites between them.

Treating your kids equally means meeting their needs, which in some circumstances, will be different than that of their siblings. The trick is knowing how to approach your kids and their individual needs.

Quarrels

Sometimes, it will seem like all your children do is bicker; however, it is important to remember that occasional quarrels are healthy and normal. By bickering, your children will learn and develop important life skills like protecting their beliefs and interests, negotiating, and expressing themselves. When your children are arguing over something with value, it is best to let them speak their minds and argue. Intervening may backfire and lead to issues as well as affect their development.

Become Closer to Your Kids

Building a healthy relationship with your children is one of the best things you can do for them. Please see our listed guide below:

Build a relationship with each child:

By having a healthy relationship with your children, they will have a sense of security and self-identity. They will not require your full attention, as they will be focused on other things, like their interests.

Developing a healthy relationship can be as simple as talking to your kids. Get to know each of them and become accustomed to their hobbies, daily activities, and discussions with others. Obviously, there will be some differences in opinion and interest between yourself and your kids: that is great! This gives you a perfect opportunity to challenge them, to discuss their beliefs and outlook.

Solving Problems

When your children are faced with problems, sometimes it is best to step back and see how they handle the situation. Always be available to help your children if they need it, but giving them the opportunity to challenge themselves and come to a solution can be a rewarding experience.

Sometimes problems between children will escalate and require your intervention. When in this situation, it is important to reduce concerns between them and do your best to calm them down. Once done, try to resolve the problem by coming up with a solution together, as a family.

Positivity

Giving your children positive reinforcement is important for their growth and happiness. Pay close attention to their behaviors and praise them for good behavior and choices. Your positivity will impact them and, in time, they too will share positivity with others.

Needs

Always be aware of your child’s needs. If there is something wrong, do your best to find out what is troubling your children. Sometimes, you won’t always be your child’s first choice when wanting to vent about a problem. That being said, you will need to approach them and comfort them. It is best to always be communicating with your child, even about small things. By doing this, you will be well aware of their emotional state.

References:

The illustration of child psychology [e] Miriam · Sam

Paul WANG, Chair of Psychology, Acting Chair of Psychiatry, Clinical Psychologist

Paul

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